First the bad, to get it out of the way: I am in a research slump. My project has taken a turn (or it has yet to take a turn and is sinking deeper and deeper into thick, thick mud), and I have yet to figure out what the heck I'm doing. Yes, and I am 6 months in...and I feel incompetent. Worse still, our study cards are due soon and I have a 1% lingering fear that my dream of becoming a medical oncologist is the wrong decision. So instead, I feel a compulsion to do one last clinical rotation before applying this year and "rule out" the 1% option. Sigh. So much introspection to do. I need to be honest with myself here. I find myself fantasizing about not only an array of medical specialties, but also other professions...like creating my own healthy food/drink line a la Honest Teas, or going the PhD/MD/JD/etc to bakery/restauranteur route. I think creating food is my stress outlet.
Now on the good, and I'm grasping at straws here compared to the weighty "bad" stuff I just detailed. It hit a record high today and it was lovely outside. I am on a smoothie kick and just enjoyed a carrot-apple-yogurt smoothie tonight after having a peanut butter-banana-soy milk one for breakfast. I have a meeting with my medical school adviser tomorrow and am optimistic that we'll be able to sort some of life out, even if it's just logistical scheduling. I saw the dentist for the umpteenth time today to repair my tooth, and while today was not the day, I realize that I'm so lucky to have found this dentist. He is perfectionist as well as kind and incredibly patient and wants a great result as much as I do. Man, you just do not get this in health care these days any more.
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